Interesting: Got confusing thoughts on your mind? 7 tips for sorting it out

Got confusing thoughts on your mind? 7 tips for sorting it out: "

Feeling trapped and tangled?

Everyone, at some point in their lives, is faced with confusing and disturbing thoughts, and many live oppressed by them, having their well-being and health compromised. What can be done about this?

In today's climate we are increasingly exposed to extremes of ideas and views and so many of them are contradictory, confusing and hard to deal with, while leaving many with stress and misery. In life we have to interact with others and technically no two people interpret and think about things the same way.

Which are right? Who is right? What can you do when there are so many different ways of looking at something? Here are some recommendations for you to use to try to deal with and let go of thoughts of this type.

Edit Steps

If you are feeling highly stressed at the time, relax, so you are able to deal with the problem. There isn't much you can do while you are stressed.
Firstly, if the thought is causing you some distress, practice a relaxation method that works for you. This may be meditation, going for a walk, reading a book, listening to some relaxing music, or anything that allows the mind to calm down.
When you feel calmer, study the thought objectively, as though the thought was some remote object. As confusion can be about practical subjects (such as how to fix something), as well as emotional or intellectual subjects (such as philosophy, morality, politics, religion, etc.), you have to work out what you are currently experiencing - the mind doesn't often know when it is confused. Find out what the subject and theme of the thought process is. The subject is the easiest and is the first thing you have to recognize. It might be concerns about a business deal, doubts, or worries about family, friends and other aspects of life that can cause confusion and doubts. However the theme is typically emotional and is usually wanting something to be, or not to be, to come, or go away, etc., and feelings such as anger, despair, etc. It is important to be able to recognize and distinguish both things in regard to exactly what is going on in your thoughts, that way you can take a step back and decide what you can do.
- An example might be (for students) feeling confused about a complex mathematical problem and then feeling angry, depressed or anxious that you cannot resolve it. The subject is the mathematical problem, the theme is the emotional context - anxiety, etc. The catch here is a new theme can grow to outweigh the subject, such as being worried that you won't finish the assignment, judging yourself negatively such as asking 'why can't I work this out?' or making statements such as 'I can't do this!' which further increase the problems. There are many secondary themes that can get added, such as fear about passing the grade, etc., each part of which should be handled one at a time, as the original confusion is now compounded into something much harder to deal with.
- The original subject's problem happens first, other themes follow once the subject exists in the mind (you won't worry about an assignment if there is no confusion about how to do the work involved). Once you have resolved the subject, it is much easier to resolve the themes. The following points explore this more in-depth and give recommendations that may work for you to resolve confusion.
Like fish caught on the hook, we too are caught if we take the bait by wanting to think about the issue, or equally wanting the issue to go away.
Aim to not get personally involved with the theme or subject. For practical subject like confusion on, for example, how to make a meal, it is easier to to do this. For personal issues or topics you have strong feelings about, this is much harder to do, as it's very tempting to get involved. But its like a baited hook, once you've bitten it, you're stuck on it and it's hard to get unhooked. Remember - it's your mind, and you're in control.
Separate yourself from the confusing thoughts. You can do this by mentally distinguishing yourself from that thought and then you can see it is a distinct process, one you can let go of like you put down a heavy sack. By trying to destroy it or forcibly crush the thought, we are giving it all our attention, which consequently adds fuel to the fire.
Some additional things you can do, consider, and use to resolve the confusion are as follows;
- Like a dense, complicated thicket of thorny blackberry vines, confusing thoughts wrap and entwine with other thoughts and problems. But it is what it is - a spiny thicket.
  Consider this analogy. That the vast array of confusing thoughts and varying views, concepts and opinions are collectively like a thicket of vines, a dense jungle, a tangle of wool or wire. They simply are what they are - a tangle, thicket or jungle of views and concepts. You can always see a subject from a different angle, so two (or many) opposing views can be equally valid based on personal experiences, preferences and perceptions. Some issues simply are impossible to resolve and get increasingly complicated and more snagged the deeper you go.
  - The trap is to start saying one issue is right or one is wrong, because both issues may be right or both wrong. You can't always tell easily. Confusion often remains because we want to be involved with the issue or want to discuss the issue; for the open mind there is no challenge to see things two ways (namely, playing the devil's advocate) because the issue at hand can be seen from two different angles and given different outcomes. It is often because we want something to be right or wrong and set in stone forever, or want to know right or wrong as an absolute that we create the entire problem of our confusion.
- It is possible for the jungle of ideas and opinions to eventually swallow you whole, which is what happens the more you allow it to grow, until you are stuck with nowhere to go. Letting go of confusing thoughts and opinions is the same as cutting each vine at its root, until it won't grow back and dominate the scene.
  Decide if you can actually find out or resolve the facts from the fiction that your mind maybe involved in. Sometimes confusing thoughts arise over trivial subjects, the answers to which can be found online, in books or from specialists (such as healthcare concerns). For those issues that are simply impossible to find out (such as metaphysical or religious based topics), still look into it to gain an insight into the subject and let go of what has been disproved, or what simply cannot be proved. It may be possible to prove them later in life, or when technology exists that can prove it, but it might simply remain impossible during your lifetime. There is a certain honesty and certainly a strength and dignity in being able accept and let go of what you cannot prove, rather than trying to plug a hole with a theory or wild imaginings, beliefs and fantasy out of fear, anxiety or personal dislikes.
- You can't always resolve the theme of the problem if it is something that personally worries you. If you're worried about something, this can add to the confusion by adding in a thought of: 'Why can't I fix it? Is there something wrong with me?'. This is another baited hook. Consider that by wanting to resolve it, or make it be something other than it is, that we are adding fuel to the fire.
- TV and computers supply us with much of the information we pick up, but they are not always consistently accurate. By bearing this in mind, it's easier to remember that the confusing idea might have no basis in fact until you test it.
  Consider what a reliable source of information is and where we get most of our information from, then ask yourself is it a good source and why. A source can be media such as TV, internet and newspapers, wiki or common projects like wikipedia & facebook (etc.), friends and relations, official documents and texts, experts and authorities on various subjects, as well as the more questionable realms, such as commonly held wisdom, ideas, traditions and "old wives tales;" these demand careful scrutiny and checking, even if it's repeated many times or commonly held to be true. Sources of knowledge are not always consistently accurate, but often out of personal interest, respect or even laziness we listen to and take hold of ideas which are exceptionally contradictory and make little sense. Do these ideas have any basis in fact or reality? Use that foundation as a guideline to let go of confusing ideas. If they aren't valid, they will only cause you distress and problems.
- Just like there is a right way and a wrong way to hold a snake to avoid being bitten before and when you let the snake go, look inside to find the right way to handle confusing thoughts so you don't get bitten.
  Decide if there is any benefit in the contradictory thought topic in regard to your long term well-being. They can be hard questions to ask, but do you really want to be confused and controlled by thoughts that may be just fantasy? Do you really want to get involved with the issue if it means arguing or fighting with someone? If no, then there is nothing to stop you letting go of that thought chain. This isn't easy though, which is why there is strength and dignity in letting go of ideas that are toxic, and it does get easier the more you do it. If you look at it and say 'I'm not interested in that anymore,' there is no real excuse for the mind to keep on holding it, unless you want it to. As mentioned before: Remember - it's your mind, you're in control.
- Try writing the issue down as this may resolve the subject problem for you.
  Try writing the issue down as this may resolve the subject problem for you. Concentrating attentively and selectively on the issues that really concern you, rather than fretting and being ineffectual in your response, can help you relax and give some space to get a fresh look at the subject. This way issues can be improved by writing down the elements of the confusion and the additional themes as you perceive them. Perhaps a list of pros and cons about an argument, brainstorming or a random list of the things that bother you about the issue - whatever comes to mind can be suitable. In practice, this allows expression of ideas and you to get a better grip of the topic to analyze its value as well as accuracy. If doing this doesn't help, don't despair; simply crumple up and throw away the writing. This gesture works to help build confidence in abandoning stressful, or nonsensical thoughts. Actively letting go and ridding yourself of the thoughts that have no basis in reality physically will feed back into your thought process and habits to recognize useful thoughts and abandon unhelpful ones.
If you can't just let go, change the thought process and introduce a new theme such as tolerance, or kindness to yourself, or a more proactive theme such as resolving to ask someone about the issue.
If you can't just let go, change the thought process and introduce a new theme such as tolerance, or kindness to yourself, or a more proactive theme such as resolving to ask someone about the issue. You can always do something else or keep examining this issue, but look for its benefits and continuously ask yourself 'Is this thought important or useful?' Changing the process is just a distraction so it doesn't fix the problem - the theme will keep coming back until you are finished with it. See your attentiveness to it in a conscious and questioning manner as a positive process in your life, one which will restore serenity.

Edit Tips

Like the above analogy of handling a snake, if you do get bitten, the anti-venom is forgiveness, understanding and kindness to yourself, by letting go of being bitten in the same way you would let go of the original problem. Having regret or despair is another snake, another thicket of vines, another baited hook.
Don't be hard on yourself, thoughts are thoughts and they do just happen. They happen because they arise while we aren't being aware of what's going on, both inside our mind and outside of it, such as our surroundings. The problem is that being aware does take some effort and the mind inclines towards being lazy if it has the choice. Practice awareness to be able to know when something is becoming a potential problem; like all things that need effort, it gets easier the more you do it and the less unfamiliar it seems.
Talk to someone you trust if you feel you would like help.

Edit Warnings

If you have any interest in the theme, it will keep coming back. A theme needs two things: firstly, your active attention of the thought process which attaches you to it, and secondly, your interest in exploring it, which locks you in so be attentively mindful and selective.
You can't destroy the processes, they are as they are. There isn't a way to bullet-proof the mind from confusion.
Allowing yourself to escape confusion in addiction and distraction will simply magnify the confusion when you least expect it. Brooding and magical thinking won't change anything but accepting facts with realism and finding creative, constructive methods for overcoming the problem facing you will at least allow you to adapt.